It all started in 1999.
A time capsule from the invention of the MP3 player, the release of the iMac computer to the approval of the Viagra pill by the United States Food and Drug Administration… And, the whole official discovery of the clitoris.
The clitoris has been shrouded in mystery in the past, but it wasn’t until 1998 that it was fully mapped by a urologist in Melbourne.
Before that, when people referred to the clitoris, they were just talking about the part they could see, but there’s a whole structure underneath the membrane that’s just as important. Discovered by Helen O’Connell, an Australian urologist, the total function of the clitoris and its various nerve endings has further informed the medical field, academics, therapists, sex educators and masturbators alike. The clitoris has 2-3 times more nerve endings than the penis and is the most sensitive area of the vulva.
In my work as a sexologist, I spend a lot of time talking about the clitoris. Given that people with clits identify as female, non-binary, fluid, male, or other identities, I always use the term vulva holder when talking to people with clits, because the humble clit is just a – very important – part of the vulva. And the vulva is a key part of the external genitalia for people with a vagina.
The clitoris is the center of the pleasure universe , and there’s so much information that many vulva owners—not to mention penis owners—still don’t know.
Check out my tips on how to maximize your knowledge and relationship with your clitoris. But first, let’s review some quick facts about the clitoris.
THINGS ABOUT CLITORIS THAT WILL ENLIGHTEN YOU
- For vulva wearers, the clitoris is the part generally associated with pleasure and orgasm more than any other part.
- The clitoris has both external and internal components. And in case you were wondering, yes, both can be stimulated.
- The clitoral gland and clitoral hood, AKA the parts you see, are made up of a pea-sized structure that sits above the urethra (where you urinate) and is covered by the clitoral hood, which can be pushed aside. The hood is the long part you can see on the vulva and the glans is the super sensitive area behind it.
- The clitoral body, vestibular bulbs, and crura, AKA the parts you don’t see, are located behind the vulva. They split below the clitoral hood and divide into four leg-like structures around the urethra and vaginal opening. The bulbs are made of spongy erectile tissue and swell when you are aroused.
The clitoris also has different colors, shapes, textures and sizes. If you search The Labia Library you will find all the explanations there (NSFW warning, but worth a look). Showing clients this is one of my favorite parts of sex therapy because it normalizes the variety of vulvas and as a result helps clients embrace and love the way their vulvas look. Check out the photo section – it’s full of photos of real vulvas, all there to educate you on how awesome they can look.
My favorite part about the clitoris is that when you get excited, the internal structure and clitoral hood swells. So you basically have an erection – just like penis holders do.
This swelling helps with lubrication – wetting – which greatly enhances the sensation of being stimulated.
DISMISSAL OF THE CLITORIS
Call it Clitbusters. Actually no.
The discovery of the entire anatomy of the clitoris (internal and external) has completely changed the way we look at vulva pleasure. Vaginal orgasms, especially those that come from stimulation of the “G-Spot” (the ribbed area 3-5 centimeters inside the vagina, on the abdominal side – insert your finger and bend it towards the belly and you will find it), it would be more correct to they are called clitoral orgasms because the “G-Spot” is actually the back of the inner part of the clitoris.
So yeah, that pretty much means RIP “G Spot”. It’s actually just your internal clitoris.
And if we’re still correcting information: Let’s talk about the ongoing debate between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
Many of my female-identifying heterosexual clients complain to me that they cannot orgasm from penetrative sex. That kind of orgasm is actually only possible for about 30 percent of vulva owners, and even then, many come to me wanting it.
I can’t blame them. Since people with vulvas have historically and continually been underrepresented, the glorification of vaginal orgasms can easily be tied to patriarchy. Penis holders generally derive the most pleasure from penetrative sex, so it was a suspiciously convenient standard for vulva holders to desire vaginal orgasms. Instead of trusting their own bodies, which usually leads them to prioritize clitoral stimulation and therefore clitoral orgasms, many people with vulvas have put vaginal orgasms on a pedestal.
Preconceptions like this—that P-in-V orgasms are not only achievable for vulva holders, but the standard —have led to the orgasm gap. That is, the differences in achieving an orgasm between the sexes, especially during penetrative sex. For penis holders, it’s 95 percent, but for vulva holders, it’s 65 percent. That’s a huge gap.
So remember that the clit is the main character – if we can reprioritize its importance, we might finally see the stats change in a big way.
HOW TO
Now that we’ve straightened things out, we can get to the fun part. While there are lots of ways you can pleasure your clitoris, there are a few that I always suggest.
PLAY WITH YOUR FINGER
To stimulate the external clitoris, use your fingers. With your index finger gently press the clitoral hood and down towards the labia externa – this is a great way to activate your entire clitoral structure, perfect to start things off.
You can also try massaging it by placing your entire palm over your clitoris and labia (similar to how you hold a PC mouse) and moving your entire hand in a circular motion. Or, gently massage the labia with your thumb.
People often forget that stimulating your clitoris with your hand is a lot more than running your fingers around the hood, there’s a whole internal and external structure you can juggle.
In terms of stimulating the clitoral hood, you can try clitoral masturbation – where you put your fingers on either side of the clitoral hood and gently lift it up and then let it down. From here, you can then move your fingers along the entire length of the hood, both up and down. Try slow movements and intensify if necessary. It’s very exciting and will feel like teasing because you’re not touching your hood directly, just parts of it.
As I said, don’t forget about the internal clitoris. You can stimulate it from within. Try a come-hither motion where you run your fingers along the length of that ribbed bit inside your vagina. That’s the “G-spot” area I was talking about.
In slow motions, rub your fingers against that area as if signaling someone to come to you. You can also use your fingers and press down by pulsing the area, varying the speed and depth as you like. Another good way is to draw 8’s on the G-spot because it stimulates your whole area. And for extra finger fun, try internal stimulation WHILE using one of the vulva tricks I mentioned.
USE TOYS
Don’t forget that you can also use toys. Toys with suction, vibrators and metal or glass dildos are among the most popular.
Toys with suction
For those who struggle to reach orgasm, suction toys are a great option. It increases blood circulation behind your clitoris with a “sucking” motion. This strong vasculature is a natural process that happens when you get excited and have an orgasm. You can use this type of toy over the clitoris and adjust the vibration and intensity to your liking.
The vibrators
Classics. If you like vibrators, there are plenty of options available, and the bonus is that they can also stimulate your nipples, vagina, and with proper hygiene, and anus (always clean it well when you change holes!!). You can use a vibrator with movements on the labia, on the clitoral hood or, if the toy allows you, to stimulate the back of the clitoris (the “G-spot”) inside the vagina. I suggest starting on a light vibration and building up as you go.
Glass or metal dildos
There are lots of toys made of solid material such as metal or glass. These toys are usually heavier, which makes them a great tool for massaging the labia and clitoral hood. The weight makes them feel more real and increases the pressure of stimulation. Because these materials can be heated or cooled, you can experiment and play with the temperatures, which add a fun sensory element to clitoral stimulation. Whether it’s an icy, cold sensation, or a tingly warm one, it creates a contrast with your body temperature to better feel the pleasure.
More help…?
While these techniques are a good starting point, there are endless ways you can play with your clitoris.
Check out KAMA or OMGYES for more pleasure techniques. They are an app and website that offers video tutorials on how to pleasure the clitoris, among other body parts. I recommend these resources to many clients. Especially for those with partners with clitoris ;).
So now you have no excuse. Start prioritizing your clitoris, using it for its ability to give you fantastic orgasms, teach your partners with penises about it, and, subtly or not so subtly, tell everyone what’s up with the clit.
Laura Miano is a sexologist, founder and creative director of the sex toy concept store Posmo. As an advocate for consensual and safe sexual exploration, she wants to educate her community and help them embrace their unique experience of sexuality.